1. |
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It started at age 3
Losing those 2 generations before me
And the loss continued till I was 23
With all of my elders gone
A significant part of my lineage lost
Laying a foundation of trauma
Maybe I’ll see you again someday
When death comes for me
Though I hope ages away
You were the one I was closest to
Yet I barely remember you
Cancer took you when I was 8
The first time my heart sank
I refused to attend the funeral
It was something I just couldn’t handle
My grief displaced at an early age
Maybe I’ll see you again someday
When death comes for me
Though I hope ages away
Death can wait for me
Death can wait
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2. |
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Your grandson shares your name
But I barely remember your face
Wish I could see it
A lot of what could have beens
If you were with us
What would be different?
Would I be the same?
Would I even recognize your face?
Maybe one day I’ll see you again
But until then
I’ll long for you
I’ll see this through
Then I’ll see you
Am I like you?
I work hard to pretend I’m fine
I carry that burden all the time
Was that you?
I’ve struggled to do what’s right
Found myself failing all the time
Was that you?
Who were you?
What I’d do just to know you
I see all the little things
That even to this day
Remind me of you
A lot of what could have beens
With your influence
Would I be different?
Would you feel ashamed
For the way you were in your last days
And as you neared the end
What happened then?
Growing up without you
Felt so lost without you
|
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3. |
The Tormented
03:21
|
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|
All I wanted
Was to have some friends
With similar interests
Things in common
All I wanted
Was to fit in
To be accepted
Not tormented
Insults thrown
From every classroom
Down every hall
Most failed to think for themselves
Just followed the mob
Each night I cried
Myself to sleep wondering why
They felt the need to torment
So fuck them all
Fuck them
It scares me to think
That there’s a real possibility
My children could have a worse experience than me
My only hope is that they’re spared those feelings
And they never know how it feels to be bullied
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4. |
The Empty
06:51
|
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|
I’ve seen their faces
They all look at me the same
Vacant and silent
Staring through me with disdain
All their eyes
Are transfixed on my gaze
I feel their judgement
I know them all by name
Sorrow has many faces
I’ve been scholar to them all
Whether it be failed love, life lost, or disappointment
They each have watched me fall
Their eyes look at me the same
Staring through me with disdain
Vacant and forever silent
Still I know them each by name
We were taught to keep it all inside
Stay behind the walls we built so high
We just need our pain acknowledged
So we don’t suffer in silence
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5. |
The Matriarch
05:28
|
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|
I am grateful for you
The one who sacrificed
Everything in your life
For me without question
Without hesitation
You have always been there for me
No matter what I need
Some debts can’t be repaid
I hope you know what you mean to me
The lengths you went to
Never giving up
Showing me what it means to have
Unconditional love
Believing in me
When I was filled with doubt
Never wavering in your support
Never walking out
Even to this day
Your love is unwavering
For us without question
Without hesitation
Selflessly there for me
And for our family
Your example I will take
As I strive to make you proud of me
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6. |
The Wayward
06:11
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